Don't eat the QUAIL!

(Before you read this look up Numbers 11 in your Bible to refresh yourself about quail and the Israelites.)

I've been doing a study called No Other Gods by Kelly Minter. There is a segment in this study about the Israelites, manna and quail. As I studied this section I realized God was speaking directly to me! Yeah, one of those 2x4s that Christians talk about.

The correlations are so tight been their attitude and mine it was scary. They weren't happy because they were bored with the manna. They wanted other provisions because they didn't think God was enough. They longed for the times of plenty.During their grumbling they forgot that they were slaves when they thought they were happiest.

Here comes the correlations between them and me. I grumbled to God. I was bored. I felt we needed more money than what He was providing. I wanted stuff to fill my life. Depending on God's provisions for our needs was simply too hard. I thought that if I went to work things would only get better. I think that God simply got tired of my begging and grumbling. So he tossed up His hands and said, "Fine! My manna isn't enough? Here have some quail!"

Just like how the Israelites were really not thrilled with the over abundance of quail, neither was I with my own "quail". God gave me more than what I wanted! I became a slave. That job robed me of my time with Him. Time with my spouse and myself vanished into thin air. It drained me of all energy and strength. Although this job didn't actually kill me, it caused many physical issues and literal pain.

I am not saying that all women shouldn't work! Just this one! Back in 1997 when I quit my job at the golf course I did so because God flat out asked me to trust Him with what I had so that He could give me even more. (And what a blessing He provided after I followed Him and stopped working.) God never changes and His promises NEVER fade! What was I thinking when I doubted Him this time?

Moral of the story....always look for the quail feathers! If you see them, turn around and walk away as fast as you can and cling to the only one who can truly provide! The manna giver!

The "re-boot"

After loosing my job after only 8 weeks of being there, I continually ask myself, "Why did HE allow me to have it in the first place?" Actually many people have wondered this on my behalf too. So I've been scratching my head a lot. Trying to learn what must be a lesson, somewhere in this.

I looked at how busy my life had become before working. Running here and there, doing this and that. Often I found that my Bible was closed more often than open. Then came the job (my quail if you will) I thought I was busy before! But yet I could feel and see Him everyday through my busyness and exhaustion. Now though, my Bible was zipped shut to keep the dust out. I was starving and I knew it!

Then the day happened. The pain of being fired was unbearable. I was completely broken. The next day I found myself with nothing to do. Often I joke about my life simply being "re-booted" like you would re-boot a computer. A fresh start lay ahead of me with nothing but time to figure it out.

In my quietness I resisted God. I didn't read or pray, but yet I could feel Him carry me. To where, I really didn't care.

He has been speaking to me lately. At first He would continually whisper, "Be still." Now He has placed me in the green pasture to rest beside the quiet waters. Just the two of us. Just me and Jesus! He has been wooing me, speaking and calling me to draw closer to Him. This is what He is saying, "O how I delight in you! For no other reason than because of the love we share. Nestle in close and let me minister to your hurt and pain. Listen closely as I whisper songs of my love and of rejoicing in you. Allow my words to become your calm and healing."

That time at work had nothing to do with me! It as all about Him! He needed my attention, desired my devotion to Him and wanted to spend time with me. He had been calling and I wasn't answering! His plan worked because here I sit. Just relaxing in His arms, listing to His singing, feeling His love bring my heart healing and comfort.

My response to Him: O how you do indeed satisfy me as with the richest of foods! There is nothing more that I want. Nothing more that I need. I will praise you all day long from the depths of my soul. You are all that I need.

I have been "re-booted" and I am so glad!

Well Duh

Today in church John 17 was read. It is the chapter about the vine and the branches. Then it hit me, "Well duh! What happens when a branch is no longer attached to the vine, it withers!" That is me as of lately. I feel withered and fruitless. I feel dry, crinkled and almost dead. Today I totally get it! It is because I haven't been connected to Jesus very much lately. My prayer life is in need of attention, my Bible study has been suffering greatly (although I do have 3 studies on my desk to work on each day, there they sit.) my time of praise and worship is non-existent! So why do I feel fruitless and dead? Well duh.

It's the vine stupid!  You know the "snickers satisfies" commercials? They are so wrong! There is only one thing that satisfies! Connecting with the vine. Not just a come closer to it, but connecting to it.

I think I will go hit a study now and get some connections started.

The Pathway

Ps 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. …with your right hand you save me.

Ps 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and staff they comfort me.

Is 43:2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; for I AM the Lord your God and Savior.

When I read these verses in order I thought, “Ok, He will be there when I am in trouble,” Gee that’s nice. But wait, He will preserve my life? How often do I really wonder about that! Often actually. Preservation is a bit more than walking with me in times of trouble.

He will also walk through the valley of the shadow of death with me. Shadows are dark; valley’s can darker. Especially when it is a spiritual valley, those can be really dark and lonely. (Those spiritual valleys can really take their toll on me!) Both shadows and valley’s can be unnerving to say the least. But then, toss that DEATH word in there. YIKES. Even as believer that can leave a bad taste in our mouths. But as a follower of Christ, I am not alone in this life regardless of how dark each day seems to be. He is the light in my darkness. He is the arrows of direction on my pathway of each day. He is the hope that drowns out all “what ifs” in my day. The shadow of the valley holds nothing against me! I can gain comfort through each dark moment because I know that HE is there with me!

As I read through the verses on Isaiah I can see Him even more clearly. We always hear that “God has a plan for your life.” Yep that makes yesterday make more sense, and it gives us hope for tomorrow. Just yesterday it hit me, well duh. If His plan is good for yesterday and tomorrow, then TODAY I must be living in His plan as well. That realization takes the “ouch” out of the day for me. Getting back to Isaiah, God talks about “WHEN YOU”…; so He does know about my today! As I thought about this a little longer and listened to the Holy Spirit I could sense Him saying, “Your journey will lead you on pathways you wouldn’t have chosen for yourself. BUT you must walk through where this path leads IF you trust in me and follow me. I know where this pathway ends.”

This pathway may be scary. This pathway may be dark and full of evil on both sides. But none the less, I will walk it today and every day by choice because I know that I am not alone.

A boat full of water!

Is your boat full of water?

Recently there have been days that I have felt like my “boat” is filling up with water. When I look at our situation from a worldly view I find that is when I panic and allow my heart to fill with fear. It seems that when I panic, more water comes into my boat. Even when others tend to panic for us it seems that water tends to get in our boat too. There are times (for all of us) when life is just too much to handle! There is just too much water coming into the boat and all the bailing in the world doesn’t seem to help. Drowning seems certain; all hope seems gone.

   Life is always getting us wet in one way or another.  Life is tough especially when the storm is filling your boat full of water and it seems that there is no escape! How can we prevent life’s storms from overwhelming us with water? Often we don't have a choice but we could try to staying out of the boat or even stay tied to the dock  the safest choice. But to do that would be to choose not to live out of fear of what could happen.  Living a life of fear is no way to live. When we give in and continue to live our lives in fear, the water just keep filling the boat even when we think we are playing it safe tied to the dock!

When we first found ourselves in this "boat" I did a lot of panicking. Then God kept telling me time and time again that I don't need to be afraid of what life holds before us. “Be still, and know that I am God” He tells us in Psalm 46:10. We can run to Him, talk to Him, read His word looking for help. He tells us to do these things because He promises to be there for us. He tells us He is ready to help when we come to Him. When we look to and focus on Him and not the storms that surround us, there is nothing that can cause our hearts to fear. Nothing! He tells us in Psalms 46 that He is our refuge, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we should not fear. He doesn’t say that we won’t get wet, but that he will keep us safe in His arms. Trembling in fear isn’t what He wants us to do. “The Lord is mightier than the noise of rushing waters. He is mightier than the waves of the sea.” Psalm 93:11.  Next time I begin to see my boat filling up with water from the surrounding storm, won’t panic in fear. I will run to Him instead. He is a safe place, present with me all the time to help in times of trouble. He is ready and waiting for me to come and trust in Him to save me. I will trust Him with the water in my boat today. How about you?

Scripture reading: Psalm 46:1-3, 10-11; 93:3-4

 

The end or the beginning

The Journey

January 28^th, 2013

This is the beginning of The Journey that Jerry and I find ourselves on. First here is a brief history regarding this journey.  Jerry’s job has been shaky for years. We knew that the company wouldn’t last forever, but we always figured he would "sink with the ship". But, things don’t always end the way you think. Before I get into detail there I need to go back a month before he lost his job. I have always toyed with the idea of going back to work just to have something to do. One day a friend came up to me and asked if I would like to apply for a full time job working for a doctor’s office. I prayed hard about it, like down on my face kind of praying, and applied for the job. My attitude was always “Lord, only if this is ok with you. If not, I will walk away content.” In the past the Lord would always stop any attempt for me to work. He has His reasons and I am fine with that. So as the days passed by, and “face-time” with God took place on a daily basis, one interview happened, then a second, then the invitation to work full time presented its self. They were actually looking for someone who knew nothing about working in a doctor’s office. I was a perfect fit! Well, God had not said “No” this time, so Jerry and I both saw this as a gift from God. I was told that I would be making $14 an hour with insurance after 90 days. This was too good to be true! We figured that God was up to something, but we didn’t know what. So carefully we put my checks in the savings and began to build up a “nest egg”.

      One month into my job I come home to find that Jerry’s boss in his “wisdom” (I use that word in jest) laid Jerry off. As of immediately after 22 years with the company, Jerry was now unemployed. That day for me wasn’t a great day either. I was taken into the “office” and told that they had hoped that I was up to speed by now….aka perfect enough for "The Office Queen", but things were shaky. I left that meeting knowing that I needed to hang in there and keep trying albeit a little bit harder. There were so many things that I just couldn’t get.  To make a long story short, two weeks after that meeting, I was called into the office again and simply told, “You are not a good fit here. Turn in your key and your badge and go home.” Yep they fired me. I won’t go into great detail here but there are many reasons why I think this happened from an earthly perspective. I am clueless as to what happened in the Heavenly realm that day. So I came home that day from work not only crushed, or feeling like road kill wondering what just hit me, to be greeted by my wonderful unemployed husband who just held me as I cried. There we stood. A home, 4 pets and living expenses with no income now what so ever. Unemployment payments will make the house payment and leave us with $600 for everything else that needs to be paid. Praise God that we do have a small savings that will keep us a float. And with God’s economy plan, I know that He can multiply what we have to be more than enough! And so this journey begins.

 

So time since the above has pasted quickly. I am back to my relaxed life style of just floating through my day. Soon though, I realized that I was not content. Nothing sounded like fun but sleeping. It wasn't long before I realized that I needed to DIVE into God's word. I needed to find His promises and cling to them like never before. Of course, I couldn't find my little book on His promises. In my search for that little book I did find something that I had written for my daughter while she was in Army Boot Camp. Back when I had that nice little promise book, I went through and picked out some promises and would write her a letter, or a daily devotion if you will. Anyway, I found that notebook that contained the original writings! Thrill! So, I am going to use those writings and those promises to adjust to fit my heart needs this time.

 

I hope you enjoy walking this with us. I hope that you find hope in the promises that I share, and may our struggles and His provisions work around to fit you somehow.  Follow if you want. Share if you want. Encourage if you feel lead.

 

This is all about the Journey that He has placed us on, and I am glad that you will walk a few steps with us from time to time.